A mess.
Yup, my life's in a mess now. I'm hoping that the transfer application will be approve lah. But, i haven't applied for it yet. I wanted to wait a little more for me to think through my decision. There are people who encourages me to transfer, but there are also people telling me not to transfer. I'm messed up and irritated. More ever, this school isn't even my choice in the first place. I was really forced to come here. Of course, i made some friends, but i still don't think i fit in anywhere. I want to go to the school i like. Primary school- not my choice. Never mind, i endured 6 years. Secondary school- not my choice. 4 years. 6+4=10 years. How many 10 years are there in my life? It's my life, not my parent's nor MOE's. Why should they decide for me? My mother made a fucking statement that really pissed me off. "Before you turn 21, all your decisions will be made by your parents." What is this? What is this thing about 21? damn, you must as well buy a puppet. You can control it as and when you like, but i'm not your puppet. I'm your
daughter. Shouldn't all big decisions regarding my life be made by me? Why can't i have a say in all these kinds of things? You think it's the right choice for me, but have you ever thought of my feelings? Have you ever thought what really suits me the most? Have you ever cared how unhappy i am whenever you made all those idiotic decisions without giving a damn about my opinion? Have you ever thought about
what do i really want the most? It's your money that you love, not your daughter. It's your decisions that you respect, not mine. Have you ever thought about it? Why can't you spare a thought for my feelings instead of choking me with all those stress and things i don't want to do? You are making me feel terrible, don't you know? When i wear that uniform, i had already felt like skipping school again. Why can't you understand the real reason behind my stupid reason of being sick? Do you really think i'm sick? I hate the life that you gave me; i'm not your puppet nor dog.
